The other day after pulling myself out of a co-nap sleep coma stupor with Myla...I thought to myself, I feel a bit like smooshed macaroni and cheese. I had probably gotten 6 hours total of sleep during a period of 2 days. Sleep did not come the night before Mylas surgery nor in the hospital until after 3 am. Exhaustion had taken over and a nurse who told me to lie down and stay put. But that is hard when your pea nutter is in a hospital bed.
And as I was emerged in my smooshed macaroniness I had a revelation. I am not 25. My body does not bounce back like a 25 year old. I am not even 32. Dang it, when did that happen? Okay maybe not revelation just an unraveling of my denial. No, it is not that I am not grateful for being able to grow older...too many of us never get the chance. I am thankful for all my thirty some (muffle muffle) years I have had in this crazy and beautiful thing called my life. But I need to take better care of myself. Red twizzlers and coffee does not a healthy vibrant person make.
Sorry I digress. Let me get to the point of this blog post. When I think about the last eight weeks it makes sense I feel a bit like smoooshed Mac and cheese. Let's recap:
I traveled across the world to an amazing place with my best friend, to receive the greatest gift.
To be more detailed...
Traveled 12000 miles. Experienced a twelve hour time change twice. Met our daughter for the first time. Played house in a hotel room for two weeks. Experienced 70 degree weather and came home to an unending winter. Watched our pea nutter get ill for almost two weeks with an intestinal bug, slept on the floor to be next my little girl, drove to eight doctors appointments with half in bad weather, Weeks of worry leading up her surgery. Her cleft lip surgery (which is supposed to be easier of the two or three), constantly wondering how many mistakes I have made in terms of attachment.... And exhale.
I can imagine Myla's response:
Really? Your kidding, think about what I'VE been through.
I must concur. She is one tough cookie and I? Smoooshed macaroni and cheese.
She has been through a lot but it has been better with you there to comfort her. In the end she won't remember the pain but will remember you were there. You are a great mom (smooshed or not).
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