Learning to Understand Myla

Last night was good sleeping for Myla and I. She did have about an hour and a half of social time but with much less screaming and crying than last night. We woke up for breakfast a bit before 7:00 (Yes, I said 7 instead of 3 or 4) and ate bananas, bottle and berries. We are increasing her food intake for she cries when her bottle is finished as if she will never see it again. And, the moment she first sees it she panics, cries with vigor and reaches for it. It is as if she is frightened that food will go away. At first I thought... she was just fussy but now I realize she desperate and it makes me sad. I can't believe it took me while to get that. And though she not does understand the words, "We promise there will always be food"
But we will say the words anyway.


As we work on her sleep schedule we are still doing the morning nap as suggested. I was prepping to put her down today for a nap and her diaper struggle was a real tough one. Angry Myla. And then I put her in bed.
She fussed just a bit and then I left to go get something. When I returned I paused before I stepped inside the door.
I hear her talking (babbling) and I thought it was cute. Then I realized it was different than her babbles previously. Do you know when you have that kind of day and at its end you audibly sigh and say ugg, when will this day be over? But then you have the days when you are worried or so stressed your chest is tight? Maybe tears are brimming in your eyes and you tell yourself, I am okay.
The latter was Myla. Since I've known her I feel like I have not been able to decipher often how exactly she is feeling. Hungry cry, sleepy cry. I need the visual signals I.e. staring in our kitchen, rubbing her eyes. Etc. Those have been the most clear but this moment was different.
I came in and rubbed her back and said I am sorry you are sad and you don't have to scared. And once again although I know she doesn't understand the words...
But I will say the words anyway.

Being loved makes all the difference in this life doesn't it? Whether it is by our parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousons, friends, co-workers etc.
We have been given clothes, toys, food in lieu of Myla. And most importantly, encouragement and love. To you everyone who has dropped off a meal, bought boogie wipes, prayed or wished us well, sent a card or an e-mail or phone call.
We thank you. And though I feel my words are not enough to express our appreciation...
But I'll go ahead and say the words anyway.

Thank You. Much Love.
Enjoy the beauty of the snow, curse the shoveling....
Carrie