The other day after pulling myself out of a co-nap sleep coma stupor with Myla...I thought to myself, I feel a bit like smooshed macaroni and cheese. I had probably gotten 6 hours total of sleep during a period of 2 days. Sleep did not come the night before Mylas surgery nor in the hospital until after 3 am. Exhaustion had taken over and a nurse who told me to lie down and stay put. But that is hard when your pea nutter is in a hospital bed.
And as I was emerged in my smooshed macaroniness I had a revelation. I am not 25. My body does not bounce back like a 25 year old. I am not even 32. Dang it, when did that happen? Okay maybe not revelation just an unraveling of my denial. No, it is not that I am not grateful for being able to grow older...too many of us never get the chance. I am thankful for all my thirty some (muffle muffle) years I have had in this crazy and beautiful thing called my life. But I need to take better care of myself. Red twizzlers and coffee does not a healthy vibrant person make.
Sorry I digress. Let me get to the point of this blog post. When I think about the last eight weeks it makes sense I feel a bit like smoooshed Mac and cheese. Let's recap:
I traveled across the world to an amazing place with my best friend, to receive the greatest gift.
To be more detailed...
Traveled 12000 miles. Experienced a twelve hour time change twice. Met our daughter for the first time. Played house in a hotel room for two weeks. Experienced 70 degree weather and came home to an unending winter. Watched our pea nutter get ill for almost two weeks with an intestinal bug, slept on the floor to be next my little girl, drove to eight doctors appointments with half in bad weather, Weeks of worry leading up her surgery. Her cleft lip surgery (which is supposed to be easier of the two or three), constantly wondering how many mistakes I have made in terms of attachment.... And exhale.
I can imagine Myla's response:
Really? Your kidding, think about what I'VE been through.
I must concur. She is one tough cookie and I? Smoooshed macaroni and cheese.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Miss Myla's surgery part two
Due to my lack of sleep this blog post is an excerpt from an email to a dear friend I wrote providing some details of the day....
She is sleeping now. Jared just left not too long ago. One parent rule.
I know I am subjective as a parent...but I am so proud and amazed of her and by her. Our little soldier.
Her face looks amazing but the truth is, it was amazing and beautiful to me before the surgery. And I must admit I am a little sad to see it go but excited for her new smile too.
She had a little trouble coming out of anesthesia...
It was 35 minutes since the put her in the recovery room and I decided to insist we see her...that is when they told us she was wheezing and her breathing a bit labored. They kept telling us she was stable but they needed to calm her down. They were going to nebulize her but then she pulled out of it.
When we went to go see her....my little muffin, I held her as she struggled and kicked out of it, normal I hear and Jared kept telling me to breathe. I did not realize I wasn't. I couldn't take deep breaths. I thought I was holding it in well but then the wave of emotions took over. It lasted about 60 seconds and Jared got me to believe it or not laugh and then I was in check again. For a moment I felt like that little kid who is choked by a sob and the parents says BREATHE...that was me.
We were up in her room shortly after and Myla took turns sleeping in both our arms. She watched Jared like a little hawk, no way daddy was leaving her sight. It was so precious.
Her face is swollen like a little chipmunk storing nuts for winter but after dinner gave her a full belly she started to get her spunk back. Still groggy and worn out but with a spark of that spunkiness.
Her no, nos are going to be a challenge to keep on and it is hard for her to play or sleep comfortably. I will have to get creative. We're calling them hee, hee, screw you's....why the heck am I wearing these things. But two weeks is not too bad in the grand scheme of it all.
The surgeon yes did great, amazing work but the nurses are the ones walking us and Myla through this and I am grateful.
I saw the nurse that helped Myla calm down from anesthesia in the hallway later and thanked her for giving Myla tender care in that moment. So many people helping Myla through today. So many of you helping her and us through this day with your prayers. Thank you.
She is sleeping now. Jared just left not too long ago. One parent rule.
I know I am subjective as a parent...but I am so proud and amazed of her and by her. Our little soldier.
Her face looks amazing but the truth is, it was amazing and beautiful to me before the surgery. And I must admit I am a little sad to see it go but excited for her new smile too.
She had a little trouble coming out of anesthesia...
It was 35 minutes since the put her in the recovery room and I decided to insist we see her...that is when they told us she was wheezing and her breathing a bit labored. They kept telling us she was stable but they needed to calm her down. They were going to nebulize her but then she pulled out of it.
When we went to go see her....my little muffin, I held her as she struggled and kicked out of it, normal I hear and Jared kept telling me to breathe. I did not realize I wasn't. I couldn't take deep breaths. I thought I was holding it in well but then the wave of emotions took over. It lasted about 60 seconds and Jared got me to believe it or not laugh and then I was in check again. For a moment I felt like that little kid who is choked by a sob and the parents says BREATHE...that was me.
We were up in her room shortly after and Myla took turns sleeping in both our arms. She watched Jared like a little hawk, no way daddy was leaving her sight. It was so precious.
Her face is swollen like a little chipmunk storing nuts for winter but after dinner gave her a full belly she started to get her spunk back. Still groggy and worn out but with a spark of that spunkiness.
Her no, nos are going to be a challenge to keep on and it is hard for her to play or sleep comfortably. I will have to get creative. We're calling them hee, hee, screw you's....why the heck am I wearing these things. But two weeks is not too bad in the grand scheme of it all.
The surgeon yes did great, amazing work but the nurses are the ones walking us and Myla through this and I am grateful.
I saw the nurse that helped Myla calm down from anesthesia in the hallway later and thanked her for giving Myla tender care in that moment. So many people helping Myla through today. So many of you helping her and us through this day with your prayers. Thank you.
Miss Myla's surgery part one
Miss Myla is now in the operating room. Needless to say I did not sleep much last night. The thought of your child going under anesthesia, being in pain when they awake is not a mind settling thing. But I know it is just step one that help her in regards to speech, eating etc. Todays surgery is her lip revision and ear tubes. Most children with cleft lip and palette will need ear tubes.
We will miss her old smile and to capture it, tried taking oodles of pictures this week. But I am sure we will love her new one. They let me be in the room as they gave her anesthesia; I kept telling her she is our beautiful girl, we are proud of her and we will be here when she wakes from her nap. My legs got a little weak. We were just told her ear tubes are now in and the lip repair has begun. Prayers welcomed. Stay tuned...
We will miss her old smile and to capture it, tried taking oodles of pictures this week. But I am sure we will love her new one. They let me be in the room as they gave her anesthesia; I kept telling her she is our beautiful girl, we are proud of her and we will be here when she wakes from her nap. My legs got a little weak. We were just told her ear tubes are now in and the lip repair has begun. Prayers welcomed. Stay tuned...
Monday, April 1, 2013
Five Random Thoughts
It is has been many days since my last post. Little did I know after I wrote the last post how long that bug would hang on to Myla. And the amount washing the of sheets, clothes and use of diapers and sleepless hours we would go through. As you might know and most probably experienced...It seems in the wee hours of the mornings like this, is when little epiphany's, the connect the dot thoughts and reminders of the stuff that matters happens. So I will title this blog, 5 random thoughts.
1. I always wondered how people go through those sleepless nights with kids and still functioned during the day. So many times people said to me, you do because you have to. I know now a bit of what they mean. Worry and adrenaline can be a substitute for sleep but definitely not a long lasting cure. The stretches when Myla would be up from midnight till 3 were testaments to this philosophy.
My hope is that she continues on a path of getting better. Prayers said and still being said.
2. How helpless we can feel at times. Waiting for a child to come to you when you have been waiting so long you can say the word...years. When the child that God has entrusted to your care gets sick or really sick. When a spouse loses thier job. When a parent is diagnosed with cancer. Helpless and desperate to help.
Which leads me to thought three. What pulls us through....People are kind because God is good.
3. People are kind and amazing. I'd be fibbing if I did not say we can be a pain in the butt too.
But, when kindness from someone creeps up on me, I am reminded that God is real when I see him everywhere I look when at times I thought I could not see him anywhere. He is...and revealed in people.
Some extended thoughts on this...
When I witness weddings of people who are real and thier love stories beautiful and vulnerable and uniquely theirs. Perfectly imperfect. But marveously just right for each other.
When neighbors make so many meals for you to the point you need to make a list so you don't forget to thank them all. Sorry, I am running a bit behind on thank you's.
When people text (Can you believe it, I actually text now) just to see how you are or post something encouraging.
When the lady at Target sees that I am not quite sure how that car seat fits in the cart, and swoops in and does it for me. Thank you lady at Target with two sons. You were kind and did not make me feel stupid.
When the best dog in the whole word looks at you with soft aging eyes and asks for just a simple request; a pet or kiss (yes, I kiss my dog...deal and I consider her people). And she is so good to me even when I am the worst human.
When my husband says to me "you're doing great." He seems to know when I am doubting myself. Which is a lot these days as a new parent.
When people I have never met are willing to share and talk with me about thier adoption journey. Walk through things with me and offer not just thier insight but their heart and hope.
When my mother in law gives me a hydrangea just to cheer me up. Sorry Madonna, love hydrangeas. And peonies, and magnolia trees and birch trees....okay refocus Carrie.
And to close random thought three...I have a memory that spurs on the next lines of text. It was at a family wedding and the bride had made a sign for her uncle after being inspired...it read "How big is your God" and not to be inappropriate...my reply is pretty damn big and I am grateful. Present in the hearts of friends, strangers. And I am sorry for when I struggle to see it. Grief, frustration and feeling lost can blind you.
4. This next one is in more of a lighthearted perspective....
My house is more of a workshop than a gallery. And I think I am accepting that. I buy things because of the color, texture, shape or how it makes me feel and more often than not most of the things...don't really go together.
My house is also full of half begun projects, a gift or card or present I am color coordinating the wrapping to the gift receivers liking. Most of these projects are in bins randomly placed around the house mid creation much to my husbands dismay. Sometimes I will place a page out of a catalog on the wall or kitchen table of something that I liked for one reason or another. When will I spring into action? One day or one month. Needless to say we have a few paper piles in our house. Yes, my house is a workshop...
5. Shoot. What was five again? Oh, it seems silly now. Just a few things I miss a bit.
Visiting Patina for color shock excitement therapy and inspiration.
Garden of Eden, I need to get more lime essential oil. Vinegar, water and lime oil on wood floors makes your house smell yummy.
The rain storm a few nights ago, I love the sound of rain and I don't care if it sounds cliche. I zonked out after one of poor Miss Myla's episodes.
A visit to Ons Thai Kitchen. Off of Snelling close to Ax Man. Please go there if you haven't. Your taste buds will thank you for it. Have the pad thai for me.
And one more random thought...
I hear it is going to be 50 this week. Minnesotans...break out the shorts and long sleeve tees!
1. I always wondered how people go through those sleepless nights with kids and still functioned during the day. So many times people said to me, you do because you have to. I know now a bit of what they mean. Worry and adrenaline can be a substitute for sleep but definitely not a long lasting cure. The stretches when Myla would be up from midnight till 3 were testaments to this philosophy.
My hope is that she continues on a path of getting better. Prayers said and still being said.
2. How helpless we can feel at times. Waiting for a child to come to you when you have been waiting so long you can say the word...years. When the child that God has entrusted to your care gets sick or really sick. When a spouse loses thier job. When a parent is diagnosed with cancer. Helpless and desperate to help.
Which leads me to thought three. What pulls us through....People are kind because God is good.
3. People are kind and amazing. I'd be fibbing if I did not say we can be a pain in the butt too.
But, when kindness from someone creeps up on me, I am reminded that God is real when I see him everywhere I look when at times I thought I could not see him anywhere. He is...and revealed in people.
Some extended thoughts on this...
When I witness weddings of people who are real and thier love stories beautiful and vulnerable and uniquely theirs. Perfectly imperfect. But marveously just right for each other.
When neighbors make so many meals for you to the point you need to make a list so you don't forget to thank them all. Sorry, I am running a bit behind on thank you's.
When people text (Can you believe it, I actually text now) just to see how you are or post something encouraging.
When the lady at Target sees that I am not quite sure how that car seat fits in the cart, and swoops in and does it for me. Thank you lady at Target with two sons. You were kind and did not make me feel stupid.
When the best dog in the whole word looks at you with soft aging eyes and asks for just a simple request; a pet or kiss (yes, I kiss my dog...deal and I consider her people). And she is so good to me even when I am the worst human.
When my husband says to me "you're doing great." He seems to know when I am doubting myself. Which is a lot these days as a new parent.
When people I have never met are willing to share and talk with me about thier adoption journey. Walk through things with me and offer not just thier insight but their heart and hope.
When my mother in law gives me a hydrangea just to cheer me up. Sorry Madonna, love hydrangeas. And peonies, and magnolia trees and birch trees....okay refocus Carrie.
And to close random thought three...I have a memory that spurs on the next lines of text. It was at a family wedding and the bride had made a sign for her uncle after being inspired...it read "How big is your God" and not to be inappropriate...my reply is pretty damn big and I am grateful. Present in the hearts of friends, strangers. And I am sorry for when I struggle to see it. Grief, frustration and feeling lost can blind you.
4. This next one is in more of a lighthearted perspective....
My house is more of a workshop than a gallery. And I think I am accepting that. I buy things because of the color, texture, shape or how it makes me feel and more often than not most of the things...don't really go together.
My house is also full of half begun projects, a gift or card or present I am color coordinating the wrapping to the gift receivers liking. Most of these projects are in bins randomly placed around the house mid creation much to my husbands dismay. Sometimes I will place a page out of a catalog on the wall or kitchen table of something that I liked for one reason or another. When will I spring into action? One day or one month. Needless to say we have a few paper piles in our house. Yes, my house is a workshop...
5. Shoot. What was five again? Oh, it seems silly now. Just a few things I miss a bit.
Visiting Patina for color shock excitement therapy and inspiration.
Garden of Eden, I need to get more lime essential oil. Vinegar, water and lime oil on wood floors makes your house smell yummy.
The rain storm a few nights ago, I love the sound of rain and I don't care if it sounds cliche. I zonked out after one of poor Miss Myla's episodes.
A visit to Ons Thai Kitchen. Off of Snelling close to Ax Man. Please go there if you haven't. Your taste buds will thank you for it. Have the pad thai for me.
And one more random thought...
I hear it is going to be 50 this week. Minnesotans...break out the shorts and long sleeve tees!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Oh My Little Green Monster
Last night we heard what we thought was Myla cough and move about on the baby monitor.
At first we thought it was nothing out of the ordinary but then I pondered gee,the cough sounded a little hard for just a cough. Then the crying began and I came in to her room rub her back. I was assuming or hoping she would go back to sleep.
It was then I got greeted by the a little green monster.
I was pretty sure Myla had not given herself an avocado and black bean facial...Unfortunately, she had thrown up and every inch of her face to the point she had trouble open those thick beautiful lashes. Then out of my mouth came pouring, terms of endearment and sympathy. Honey biscuit, darling, sweetums..words that normally and name creations that you would not hear coming from me....I/we felt awful for her. She kept reaching for me and I let her hold on and snuggle in while I started to assess best clean up method. Of course it would be inevitable that I would get a little woofed cookies on me anyway. Little did I know it was a moment of foreshadowing.
I brought her in the bathroom and called for Jared. We began the clean up process.
After awhile we took her back to her room cleaned and changed. All the while yelling at the dog not to help. Jared scrubbed the carpet. She looked so tired and we decided to put her back in her crib. Um, yeah.
She threw up again and when I thought she was done I pulled her out and yep you guessed it...all over the carpet until I was able to put a towel under her. The after waiting 20 minutes, and re-pj'd, mom picks her up to walk and hold her and...yup you guessed it...one last spew all over me. Sigh. But after this instance she returned a bit back to normal as if saying: I am okay, even a little happy, but oh soooo tired and a little..what the Holy Biscuts just happened to me. Then filled her pants and more mini upchuck. Gotta end with a bang, right?
And we were relieved. But still worried. So I slept in her room that night. And she smooshed her little body against the crib closet to where I lay. And I talked to her until she feel asleep.
And I slept, one eye opened two ears turned up. My friend said it sounded as if Myla was initiating you...or even hazing. Hmmm, did we make the cut?
Damage Summary...
One crib sheet
Two blankets
Moms shirt
One towel
One roll of paper towels
3 Myla outfits
Funky smelling carpet
Three turned stomachs
But I am so glad she seems better today. And I promise this will be the first, the last, the only blog in which I discuss poop and puke. I will try to be more sophisticated and thought provoking next time.
At first we thought it was nothing out of the ordinary but then I pondered gee,the cough sounded a little hard for just a cough. Then the crying began and I came in to her room rub her back. I was assuming or hoping she would go back to sleep.
It was then I got greeted by the a little green monster.
I was pretty sure Myla had not given herself an avocado and black bean facial...Unfortunately, she had thrown up and every inch of her face to the point she had trouble open those thick beautiful lashes. Then out of my mouth came pouring, terms of endearment and sympathy. Honey biscuit, darling, sweetums..words that normally and name creations that you would not hear coming from me....I/we felt awful for her. She kept reaching for me and I let her hold on and snuggle in while I started to assess best clean up method. Of course it would be inevitable that I would get a little woofed cookies on me anyway. Little did I know it was a moment of foreshadowing.
I brought her in the bathroom and called for Jared. We began the clean up process.
After awhile we took her back to her room cleaned and changed. All the while yelling at the dog not to help. Jared scrubbed the carpet. She looked so tired and we decided to put her back in her crib. Um, yeah.
She threw up again and when I thought she was done I pulled her out and yep you guessed it...all over the carpet until I was able to put a towel under her. The after waiting 20 minutes, and re-pj'd, mom picks her up to walk and hold her and...yup you guessed it...one last spew all over me. Sigh. But after this instance she returned a bit back to normal as if saying: I am okay, even a little happy, but oh soooo tired and a little..what the Holy Biscuts just happened to me. Then filled her pants and more mini upchuck. Gotta end with a bang, right?
And we were relieved. But still worried. So I slept in her room that night. And she smooshed her little body against the crib closet to where I lay. And I talked to her until she feel asleep.
And I slept, one eye opened two ears turned up. My friend said it sounded as if Myla was initiating you...or even hazing. Hmmm, did we make the cut?
Damage Summary...
One crib sheet
Two blankets
Moms shirt
One towel
One roll of paper towels
3 Myla outfits
Funky smelling carpet
Three turned stomachs
But I am so glad she seems better today. And I promise this will be the first, the last, the only blog in which I discuss poop and puke. I will try to be more sophisticated and thought provoking next time.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Crazy Coffee Lover
I love coffee. No wait... I need coffee. I dream of this sweet liquid also known as Java. I even brought instant coffee to China. I was at a Starbucks I frequented in Guangzhou and you know what? I never felt ashamed. It is so tasty on the lips and the caffeine it provides gives me a sweeter disposition. Now rest assured, I did enjoy local tea many, many times. In case any tea lovers are reeling at the possibilty I did not indulge, especially in China. I did. And my husband even more so.
So when I snuck out when we arrived home, where do you think my first stop was? Even before I got o.j. for my sick husband and bananas for our daughter? You would be right. That being said I might agree...a tidbit shameless but accurate. Hello coffee. I would like point out Dunn Bros. is connected to Festival.
What do I love about it? What do you like about the sunrise? Where to start...
Once upon a time I hated it. Did not mind the smell but thought it to be kind of gross. Sad huh? Then a friend suggested to me that I might enjoy a a little with irish cream flavoring. Pretty decent was my first thought but still, I did not crave it like I do now.
Then I met KS. I am using her initials to protect her identity. She got me hooked on coffee coolers. Yum.
Did not matter if it was 80 degrees out of minus 2. I craved them. Some of you might say that is not real coffee. But you see coffee was very smart and it knew it had to lure me in slowly.
Awhile ago when we were in Paris, (We were blessed to have visited Switzerland and France) I drank cappuccinos and it was a close to heaven experience.
Then at family dinners when coffee requests were being taken I began to oblige as well.
A few years ago I discovered the perfect marriage. Coffee on ice. All the benefits of coffee, i.e. caffiene and a rich delicious smell. You see, cold coffee quenches your thirst. Hot coffee cannot. Unless you want a burnt tongue and throat, if you do then you might have real problems.
Did I mention I walk through the aisle at the grocery store which contains coffee just so I can smell the aroma?
And this past fall when outside raking leaves I could smell the nearby Dunn Brothers roasting thier coffee beans. Two of may favotrite things. Autumn and the smell of Coffee.
And when Myla won't embrace her nap...coffee is there for me. Thanks buddy.
I could go own but I will end this coffee soliloquy.
Good day and enjoy a cup of coffee soon. I would humbly suggested Dogwood Coffee if you can get your hands on some.
P.S. My sister had Starbucks waiting for me at the airport when we arrived home from China. God Bless her. She is my hero.
So when I snuck out when we arrived home, where do you think my first stop was? Even before I got o.j. for my sick husband and bananas for our daughter? You would be right. That being said I might agree...a tidbit shameless but accurate. Hello coffee. I would like point out Dunn Bros. is connected to Festival.
What do I love about it? What do you like about the sunrise? Where to start...
Once upon a time I hated it. Did not mind the smell but thought it to be kind of gross. Sad huh? Then a friend suggested to me that I might enjoy a a little with irish cream flavoring. Pretty decent was my first thought but still, I did not crave it like I do now.
Then I met KS. I am using her initials to protect her identity. She got me hooked on coffee coolers. Yum.
Did not matter if it was 80 degrees out of minus 2. I craved them. Some of you might say that is not real coffee. But you see coffee was very smart and it knew it had to lure me in slowly.
Awhile ago when we were in Paris, (We were blessed to have visited Switzerland and France) I drank cappuccinos and it was a close to heaven experience.
Then at family dinners when coffee requests were being taken I began to oblige as well.
A few years ago I discovered the perfect marriage. Coffee on ice. All the benefits of coffee, i.e. caffiene and a rich delicious smell. You see, cold coffee quenches your thirst. Hot coffee cannot. Unless you want a burnt tongue and throat, if you do then you might have real problems.
Did I mention I walk through the aisle at the grocery store which contains coffee just so I can smell the aroma?
And this past fall when outside raking leaves I could smell the nearby Dunn Brothers roasting thier coffee beans. Two of may favotrite things. Autumn and the smell of Coffee.
And when Myla won't embrace her nap...coffee is there for me. Thanks buddy.
I could go own but I will end this coffee soliloquy.
Good day and enjoy a cup of coffee soon. I would humbly suggested Dogwood Coffee if you can get your hands on some.
P.S. My sister had Starbucks waiting for me at the airport when we arrived home from China. God Bless her. She is my hero.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Nope, I Can't Do It All
As I write this I am still fighting the urge to want to do it all. But I must remind myself I cannot but most importantly I should not. When I got home home and even though I was jet lagged, learning how to become a parent and understand Myla (These are life long endeavors and if I were to think otherwise I wold be a fool) and overcoming a cold, and starring at more paperwork that needs to get done..yes there is more paperwork, I did not ponder or pause and think it through and somehow thought I could create a routine where I would do it all. But then a whole day goes by and I did not mop the floor or organize my mud room and I felt...defeated.
But I am slowly realizing and whole heartily wanting to embrace my number one priority, Myla.
Attachment is an ongoing process that takes full focus. There is never a time when I can say...okay I have completed my attachment steps for today. For those of you who have adopted, you get this. Every moment is a chance to connect and build trust. To teach her what family means, and for Jared and to learn how our family will be.
Connecting, building trust that will lead to solid attachment is imperative. Experts express this over and over again in every article I read and my interactions with professionals have confirmed this. Attachment is ongoing and is built moment by moment, each leading towards a deeper level trust over time.
Myla is getting to know us, as we are her, it would be foolish to think or expect her to completely trust us after three weeks.
I pray that I learn what I can do and do better to nurture that trust. And I know I have made mistakes, but the important thing I believe is to keep at it.
So I will pause and try not to think about what I think needs to get done ( yes, paperwork tou are the exception)to get at least one more belly laugh when we play hide and seek. I will let her splash in the water a few more minutes, stroke her hair at least a dozen more times when she cries, watch in enjoyment longer as she soaks up daddy's love because if I cannot do it all let these things be the things I do...do.
But I am slowly realizing and whole heartily wanting to embrace my number one priority, Myla.
Attachment is an ongoing process that takes full focus. There is never a time when I can say...okay I have completed my attachment steps for today. For those of you who have adopted, you get this. Every moment is a chance to connect and build trust. To teach her what family means, and for Jared and to learn how our family will be.
Connecting, building trust that will lead to solid attachment is imperative. Experts express this over and over again in every article I read and my interactions with professionals have confirmed this. Attachment is ongoing and is built moment by moment, each leading towards a deeper level trust over time.
Myla is getting to know us, as we are her, it would be foolish to think or expect her to completely trust us after three weeks.
I pray that I learn what I can do and do better to nurture that trust. And I know I have made mistakes, but the important thing I believe is to keep at it.
So I will pause and try not to think about what I think needs to get done ( yes, paperwork tou are the exception)to get at least one more belly laugh when we play hide and seek. I will let her splash in the water a few more minutes, stroke her hair at least a dozen more times when she cries, watch in enjoyment longer as she soaks up daddy's love because if I cannot do it all let these things be the things I do...do.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)